A Taco that Craps Ice Cream - SOUTH PARK

The head alien (in the form of a taco, that craps ice cream) explains to the boys that Earth is really a reality television show.
"Cancelled" S07

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INT. SPACE TRACKING CENTER - DUSK
Chef walks in the door of the damaged center with a flashlight. The lights are low and glass and debris is everywhere as if the aliens ransacked the place.
CHEF
JEFF! The aliens took the children up on their ship!
SCIENTIST
Oh no!
CHEF
Did you find out what the aliens are up to?!
The scientist sits down at his terminal.
SCIENTIST
When I reversed the polarities I found this-
He hits a button and a long series of boxes and slashes fills the screen along with a modem sound.
SCIENTIST (CONT'D)
It's a message that the aliens are broadcasting throughout the entire universe. But I have no idea what it says.
CHEF
They took the children, Jeff. I HAVE to know what those aliens are up to!
SCIENTIST
Wait a minute - butt sex.
CHEF
Butt sex?
SCIENTIST
Butt sex requires a lot of lubrication, right? - lubrication - lubra... Chupa - chupacobres - the goat killer of Mexican folklore - folklore is stories form the past that are often fictionalized -fictionalized to heighten drama - drama STUDENT! Students at colleges usually have bicycles - BI _ BINARY!!!! IT'S BINARY CODE!!!
The scientist spins around in his seat and starts typing.
CHEF
Who's having butt sex?
INT. ALIEN SPACESHIP - NIGHT
The alien is now looking like Saddam Hussein, doing a little song and dance.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
Hello my honey! Hello my baby! Hello my rag time gal!
The boys are still where they were, but now sitting down. Cartman is actually laying on his belly with his head in his hand.
BOYS
NO.
The alien changes to Missy Elliot.
MISSY
Let me search it gonna work it-
BOYS
No.
Missy changes to Frank Sinatra.
FRANK
Don't piss on the moon, babe
BOYS
NO.
FRANK
Alright, Earthlings, what form do you WANT me to take?!
The boys look at each other.
CARTMAN
How about a taco -- that craps ice cream?
Frank turns into a big taco, with eyes and a mouth and feet and hands (like a taco you might see on a kid's menu)
As it stands there, it craps out some ice cream.
CARTMAN (CONT'D)
Guys?
STAN
I like it.
KENNY
Me too.
The boys all give a golf clap.
TACO
Alright, then we can get back to business! Follow me this way, Earthlings!
The taco starts to leave, crapping ice cream as it does, and the boys follow.
INT. ALIEN SPACESHIP - HALLWAY - NIGHT
A sliding door open and the Taco walks through the same hallway that Cartman was drug down earlier, with the boys following.
ICE CREAM SHITTING TACO
I want to apologize to you boys for all the spooky, scary stuff. We just needed to get to the malfunctioning uplink relay.
STAN
You mean the thing in Cartman's ass?
ICE CREAM SHITTING TACO
That's right. See, there are dishes in over 50,000 Earthling's rectums, they are only supposed to come out while in heavy sleep - but your friend's has been malfunctioning.
KYLE
Why do you put them into people's asses? Are you planning some kind of alien take over?
ICE CREAM SHITTING TACO
Oh heaven's no! We're a production company. We make intergalactic television programs that the whole universe watches.
STAN
Television?
The taco makes it to the other side and walks through another sliding door.
INT. ALIEN SPACESHIP - PRODUCTION CONTROL ROOM
Several visitor aliens are working hard at what appears to be a nice, huge television control room.
The space is very active, With visitors in headsets sitting at monitors and other visitors running around with video tapes and coffee and food.
ICE CREAM SHITTING TACO
We at Nerzod Productions started twenty billion years ago with one philosophy: the best universal television isn't scripted! It's REAL!
The taco walks up to some large, very nicely presented framed posters of their shows, with elegant lights illuminating them.
ICE CREAM SHITTING TACO
We started with great shows like "Who Wants to Marry A Gelgamek?" And 'Antares 6 Millionaire'.
(Moving down)
ICE CREAM SHITTING TACO
And then we had a big hit with "Get me Outta Here, I'm a Klignanian"
The Ice cream walks towards the huge
ICE CREAM SHITTING TACO
But then, of course, there's our signature show. The greatest universal reality show of all time.
The Ice cream shitting taco walks to the window where Earth is approaching slowly - MUSIC SWELLS.
KYLE
Earth?
ICE CREAM SHITTING TACO
A few billion years ago we realized - What if we took species from all different planets in the Universe and put them together on the SAME planet? Great TV, right?!